Aspies and Bullying... My Greatest Fear as a Dad

It is my single biggest fear at the moment.

I'm talking about my son being bullied, especially when he reaches middle school.

The other day, I posted something on the Huffington Post, a response to a woman's article about AS.  She was jokingly comparing AS traits with typical male traits, and I differed from most of the commentators in that I actually found her piece amusing.

A few people tactfully told me that I was off base.  And one woman's comments hit home in particular. 

She said, in effect: Right now, it seems like this kind of stuff is acceptable and harmless.  But what will you say when your kid reaches middle school and is possibly the victim of bullying, ostracizing, etc.?

She made a good point.

As aspies get a little older, and into the teen years, it seems the relative isolation they can experience gets more acute and painful for some.  It can also lead to various forms of bullying.

And that possibility absolutely breaks my heart.

But then I thought about it and the question came to mind: "Now what?"

As in, what can worrying, being sad, feeling hopeless, ranting or any other negative attitude do to prevent my kid from being bullied?

While I might sound naive, I think that practically, it's naive to think that somehow a "victim" mindset will solve anything.

(As an aside... I don't know.  I'm still trying to sort out how I feel about humor and Asperger's. I would say that humor and Asperger's are fairly natural companions.) 

 

But I know that won't be everyone's cup of tea.  Some find it more sensible to maintain a seriousness at all times, lest they (or their loved one) let their guard down and get hurt.  And I think that we are at the very beginning stages of the civil rights movement for aspies.

But we're going to get hurt.  Our aspies will get hurt.

I know my kid will be bullied.  

So once I've acknowledged this sad fact, and gotten angry, and shaken my fist at God for it... then what?

How to cope with that?  Here are some early thoughts...

Solutions to the Bullying Problem... or at Least a Start

Talk to him, ask him specifically on a regular basis: Are there any kids bothering you at school? 

If it comes up, there are policies against bullying kids with any kind of disability in our school district: Palm Beach County.  More than that, you can file civil charges against the bully and his/her family, and against the school district itself if it fails to protect you aspie.

This is serious stuff.  I think we must continue to raise awareness and address this aspie/bullying thing head on.

It could be the single biggest problem our kids will face.  And I am serious about finding solutions, and helping to actively lower bullying rates for aspies and all kids.

That said, if we can't occasionally laugh at the world (including the lighter side of Asperger's) then we've already lost.

Peace,

Jay