NJ caught his first fish.
It was about 13 inches. Largemouth bass. Real mean and nasty.
Thing fought like hell. Zipping across the Florida lake behind my wife's house like some kind of Loch Ness Monster on crack.
Okay, I exaggerate.
But he did catch this beast, using live bait (shiners). He reeled it in himself, and he even managed to release it properly back into the lake.
As he cranked on his little-kid reel, he said: "I can't do it!"
I encouraged him on, and told him that if he could get it to the edge of the lake, I would help him land it.
So he struggled and cranked, and the fish was fighting for dear life.
FLASHBACK: I was five years old, fishing with my Dad on the Chesapeake Bay.
We were trolling for bluefish. He was driving our 19-foot inboard-outboard.
We were trolling surgical-tube lures through a patch of seagull-swarmed bay and suddenly, it hit.
"Grab it!" yelled Dad.
I did and started trying to reel. It was a tremendous fight. My arms were shaking. I "couldn't do it" either.
But like I knew, my Dad knew.
I could do it. And I got it up to the boat, and Dad helped me land him.
Nate could do it. And he got it up to the shoreline, and I helped him land the fish.
The fact that these two events were about 34 years apart only makes them both more amazing to me.
Sometimes it feels like these stories, our lives, are being written by one hell of an author. I certainly couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. But I sure am thankful, not only for my experience with NJ this weekend...
But for my experience with Dad, and all the others to come.
Peace,
Jay
Posts
My sons have Asperger's (as do I), and I agree with you that kids with Asperger's are great. Yes, I wish they did not have Asperger's, because I know it causes them some hardships and I worry about their future, but at the same time, I love who they are and what others might regard as their quirkiness. It seems like you feel the same.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to comment on your bullying post. My kids have had problems with bullying, starting in elementary school. The best thing is if you can teach your son to advocate for himself. I have one that does and one that does not. The one who does has learned to tell people when he's being bullied and has learned to tell the bully he doesn't like it and won't stand for it (much like his mom). The other really hates confrontation, won't tell anyone (sometimes I have to drag it out of him), and won't stand up for himself. We are working on that, but he's like his dad with Asperger's, so I don't have a lot of confidence that I am going to make progress on that front.
I think the most important thing you can do is make sure they know that if school becomes intolerable and they come to you about it, you will never be dismissive of it and send them back into an intolerable situation. I told my sons I will do anything it takes, including homeschooling or getting them into a private school, to make sure they are not going somewhere for 8 hours a day and being miserable. I think that kind of reassurance is important because adolescents with Asperger's are prone to depression.
Thank you so much for your post. I agree with you totally on the dual nature of Asperger's and kids. Of course, you never want your kids to have any setbacks or undue challenges. But now that I have accepted this as part of life, the only question is: what can I do to help him reach his amazing potential?
ReplyDeleteYour take on bullying is much appreciated. And I totally agree - I'll do ANYTHING to keep him from having his self-esteem destroyed by bullying.
I'll homeschool him myself if I have to. Whatever it takes.
I was bullied in junior high, and it was terrible. And I haven't been diagnosed with AS (although I have some of the telltale traits!).
I will take your advice - already do it a little. Asking him specifics - do any kids bother you, etc. So far, nothing to report. But I know it will happen.
Thanks again for your feedback.
Jay