Five Ideas to Get You Through the "Rough Days"

Being a parent involves rough days.

No matter how well behaved your kids are.   No matter what their level of giftedness or not.  No matter how patient you are.  No matter how loving your family.

We all have an occasional day where it's just damned hard to be a parent.  Where our kids are being jerks and testing us at every turn.  And we are coming up short.

Usually, I know I'm having a really bad day when I actually lose my temper with NJ.  This happens very rarely these days.  But when it does, I always feel so helpless.  I just want to scream and yell and throw a temper tantrum.

Indeed, some theorize that your author is an aspie as well!  And I don't deny there are certainly some eery similarities! 

But here are five little things to think about when you're going through such a day... when it seems like the ESE coordinator doesn't get your kid, and your kid doesn't get you, and you don't get his teacher, and the cable goes out so there's no Spongebob.

1. Some of the world's greatest humans were either diagnosed with Asperger's or have been posthumously associated with AS.  They include Albert Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, John Robison, Dan Akroyd and Bill Gates.  Yes, there are surely aspie morons out there, just as there are morons in every walk of life.  But I doubt your kid is one of them.

2. Aspies often tend to improve with age.  The traits naturally mellow as the person figures out the world on their own.

3. We are in a position to help, as parents, and it is an honor to do so... Remember when you were a kid, and what would have helped you during such difficult days.  If you could go back to a difficult day in your childhood and parent yourself, how would you talk to the little "you"?  What would you do or say to help little "you"?  Then do that with your little one.

4. There is a LOT of support out there for you.  Other parents of aspies or autistics, other parents in general... Psychologists, support groups, online groups, John Robinson's blog, Temple Grandin.  You name it.  Remember that all you need to do is start reaching out.  I hope this blog can be part of that support.  Check out the other resources for aspie parents and remember that you need support as much as your kid does.  

5. We are blessed to have kids with Asperger's.  They are extraordinary.  For every area where they might be behind their peers (team sports, socialization, etc.), they might be ahead in another area (individual sports, rugged individuality, native intelligence, creative thinking).

If you can think of any other inspirational thoughts you'd like to add to this list, please do.

When we have the hard days, the rough days, the main thing I try to do is keep an even keel and keep an eye out for signs of a benevolence beyond definition, and sometimes beyond my own human understanding.

Peace,

Jay