The Importance of Mastery

There is no doubt: Aspergians are, as a group, very bright.

In fact, if everyone were Asperger's, there would probably be no Gifted and Talented Education programs. Because everyone would be Gifted and Talented.

But pure intelligence only goes so far in life.

Unless someone can apply that intelligence in the real world, what's the point? I suppose you could say that you can simply enjoy your own profound thoughts. And many people do enjoy their own thoughts, profound or not.

But the real juice of life - the real fun - comes when you apply those thoughts to the world around you. When you help to shape reality for the better, and contribute your personal note to the ongoing symphony of reality... the One Big Song.

NJ certainly helps to shape his world. Just look at his mother's living room! There you'll find an entire civilization populated by small, plastic people. They are engaged in the most marvelous interpersonal struggles and triumphs. Often those struggles end with someone going to Playmobil jail, or falling out of a boat. I'm not saying life is easy in this world.

He also volunteers, serving in programs to help the homeless. And he really volunteers - he asks to do this stuff, and we pave the way.

But what he doesn't do on his own is... homework. Particularly math.

You might think that as an Aspie NJ would excel at math. But it's not his favorite. He much prefers reading, designing systems and virtual societies on the computer, etc.

Just goes to show you: Aspergians are just people. Just when you think you can make a generalization, it dissolves. That's why it's critical to "treat the symptoms, not the syndrome."

However, as much as he squirms and gripes about math homework, he's not wriggling off the hook.

We sit there with him every night. He does his math homework. And we emphasize effort, concentration and progress... and try to downplay outcome (whether he gets the answers right).

It can be a slog. Last night we sat there for 30 minutes. He worked through about 20 addition problems. They were three-digit numbers! Carrying the 1, and so forth. Pretty major stuff for a 1st grader!

But he made progress, even as he completed the night's work.

I found that trying different ways "in" to NJ's brain really helped. Instead of just telling him what to do, I wrote the problems out using grids and drew arrows to the different steps. I "overexplained" the steps. We emphasized the basics: start with the right-hand column, add those two numbers, put the right-hand number of that answer here... etc.

With effort, he learned. He noodled it. It just took what it took.

Bottom line: I believe NJ will be good at math. I believe there will be days when he enjoys math. The key thing - the most important outcome to me - is that he gains a sense of mastery over each phase of the learning process. Learning to add number is important. It can be very useful in life. But learning that you CAN master things that don't come easy... that's an even more useful lesson, to me.

By the end, we were high-five-ing... and he was doing the problems all on his own.

Even though NJ hates math, he's going to learn it.

The reward this night was two cookies and a glass of milk.

The rewards later - for learning how sustained effort can lead to mastery - will be much greater.

Peace.