Asperger's by Any Other Name...

Well, it has been a long time since I've written on this hear blog.  Many things have happened since then - much water has passed beneath the bridge.

They finalized DSM-V, for starters.  Hey, Asperger's no longer exists, folks!  How convenient.  A whole community, with decades of historic diagnostic and therapeutic modalities built up, has been virtually erased by the DSM committee.  

I believe they have made a really large mistake, and that they will eventually be forced to address that mistake.  But that's for another time.

Meanwhile, we've gotten some very interesting news about NJ.  Not long ago, we moved and he started at a new school here in Maryland.  This school put him through two rigorous autism tests, over the course of about two months.  They supported this with round after round of behavioral observation and classroom diagnostics.  And they came back with some rather shocking news.  According to all of their tests, he didn't actually fall on the Asperger's/autism spectrum.  He has tendencies, but apparently they weren't severe enough to qualify for a diagnosis. 

Luckily, he has a hearing issue that serves as a gateway "issue" in terms of services, and the school can provide whatever he needs in terms of social group, stress-management, etc., based on that.  Thank goodness for loopholes.

In other news, NJ is finishing up the entire Potter series.  He's on the last book with his mother.  He has started his own comic strip and published it on his blog.  He has made a handful of real friends, including two "best friend" types - one a boy and one a girl.  And he's made progress in school, pulling good grades and not getting into trouble, and sometimes - blessedly - reporting actual enjoyment of school.

However, as he turns the corner into double-digits (just turned 10), it's as clear to me as ever that NJ is a unique individual.  He's not neurotypical - he's noticeably different, even if subtly at times.  And that, in all seriousness, is a beautiful thing.

The world needs all types, and NJ brings some serious gifts to the world.  He has an intense sense of justice, which is very typical of the non-neurotypicals among us.  He's very courageous - willing to speak up and in front of a crowd, even in times of stress.  He's also mischievous.  At a recent school concert, the kids were filing off stage and he snuck up to the microphone, grabbed it and made an impromptu fart noise to an auditorium full of hundreds of parents.  The place nearly fell down from laughter.  I was mortified but later got a great laugh myself.  

My point on this New Year's day is this: the label never really mattered.  Whether he's technically on the spectrum or not is hardly the point.  The point is, he's a kid and he needs certain things from us as parents.  Our job isn't to label, and categorize - it's to help the child, not the diagnosis (or lack of one).

So for all the aspies out there - diagnosed, undiagnosed or fully in the closet - I wish you a happy new year, and a year of strength, dignity, purpose and confidence in your identity as someone the world needs.  You have a gift inside and the world needs that gift.  I hope for all of our sake that I, you, NJ and everyone else finds the courage and clarity to bring some of those gifts to the world this year.  God bless, Jay