The value of never giving up

I will be honest, and tell on myself.

There have been times when I've wondered if putting NJ in various social situations was even worth it. We tried T-ball, and that didn't go very well. Of course that was before we had a diagnosis, and before NJ turned 4!

We've asked him if he wants to try soccer. No go.

He used to balk at the idea of a play date (no more).

But thank goodness we never gave up. We have just continued to gently ask if he would be interested in trying various things. And we've accepted when he flat out says no.

So we were delighted two weeks ago when he came home from 1st grade with a flier for Cub Scouts!

He was not only interested - he had taken the initiative.

So we went to the first couple of preliminary meetings. And he sat there and did very well for most of it. But what was awesome was when he leaned back into me, and whispered during one of the presentations:

"Dad, I think Cub Scouts is really exciting."

I whispered back that I agreed, that I could wait to do this with him.

He whispered back a few more things that made me want to rip my own head off with joy, and go bowling with it. And I actually got teary-eyed.

This happens occasionally, and almost always when I see him making - or even attempting to make - a real social connection, with an individual, group, it doesn't matter.

As an added bonus, his friend Darren (also on the spectrum, very mildly) wound up in NJ's Den through some shameless vote-rigging. His friend Ravi also wound up in his group, as did another friendly acquaintance named Tyler.

Who knows where these guys are headed, how long their friendship will last. I recently got "friended" by an old buddy I met at Wilson Elementary School in California, oh, about 30 years ago. Of course I wouldn't have dreamed we would remain friends our whole lives. I didn't even know what a whole life meant back then.

But thanks to NJ's new foray into the Scouts, I am wondering if he might wind up with a lifelong chum after all.

Never give up. Never settle for isolation. Just keep trying to put your kid into situations where he can succeed. It will happen. It will.

Peace.