An Aspie Day at the Beach

Living in South Florida has its advantages - many.

Probably the main one for us is living near some truly remarkable beaches.

There's nothing quite like a good beach along A1A. In California, where I was born and raised, the beaches are breathtaking. And there are some truly world-class beaches there, from the broad, wide beaches along the southern coast to the cliff-bound, foggy numbers up north. Stunning.

But when it comes to a casual, hop out of the car and go swimming kind of beach, Florida has the best in the world.

So yesterday, NJ and I went to the beach for a few hours. It was our first time out there in awhile. We both love it.

NJ is turning into something of a big swimmer. He can fly! And he's now starting to swim in three dimensions - diving deep to catch rings, coins and the like.

Here I go again, bragging. Anyway...

So NJ was cruising around digging holes in the sand, swimming around in the waves. It was a perfect day. Blue, clear waters, sunny skies, a fresh breeze blowing.

And I saw NJ in the distance approaching a group of three older boys. These lads were probably between 8-10 years old, and they had built a giant hole. I saw NJ approach and just kinda watched. My breathing paused and went soft as I waited to see: would he be allowed to join them, or would he be turned away?

I saw him talking. I saw them listening. And then I saw them smiling.

They got it - this little guy is really smart and sounds like a tiny professor.

And they let him jump into the little sand pool they had dug out of the beach, and that was now filling intermittently with water.

NJ jumped in and played with them, digging around, just sitting there looking generally pleased. They were doing what they were doing. And all was well.

Eventually, storm clouds rolled in and everyone had to pack up and go.

And I must say, NJ wasn't carrying on long conversations with these kids. He wasn't forming some kind of lifelong bond with them. He wasn't organizing them into a new political party (although he would have loved to, a "kid's only" party of some sort no doubt).

But just making the effort, showing a willingness and taking the risk... those were hugely important.

And this time it worked out.

I've also seen it not work out. Once NJ asked a girl if he could borrow one of her shovels at the beach. She just looked at him rudely and pulled the shovel (an extra one!) near to her and wouldn't let him borrow it.

"Jerk!" I thought.

NJ didn't mind all that much. He just moved onto the next thing. I think I'm going to start talking to him about this kind of stuff. Sometimes kids will respond positively, sometimes they won't. Their reaction doesn't matter as much as your willingness to continue learning how to communicate with them on their level... and that you keep trying.

He's so worth it, and he's got so much to offer.

Peace,

Jay