An Interesting Brunch...

So this morning, NJ and his mother and I decided to go grab some brunch at the local 50's diner, Ellie's.

Cute place. Our hostess, oddly, was the same woman who served NJ's hotdog at the beach yesterday. The hotdog that will always go down in our family history as infamous for first... claiming NJ's loose front tooth, and then accidentally putting it in my mouth when I tried to steal a bite of his dog later in the meal. (Story for another post.)

So we're just having our regular time with NJ. Now that he's six, he's pretty good in restaurants.

He was also playing some Sims on my Blackberry, and generally just being an agreeable little fellow.

At one point, he picks up a piece of bacon and goes into a hilarious story about "Oh no, the Horrible Bacon Monster is attacking the city." NJ's really into super heroes, rescue scenarios, good guys, bad guys and the like right now.

The woman in the booth behind us turned around and smiled.

So after the meal, Mel gets up to go to the bathroom. And this woman gets up and walks over to our table, and I'm like - oh crap. Here we go. She's a nice looking woman, probably late 40s. Shortish, curled brown hair, slender, mildly serious bearing. She kind of leans toward me and says:

"I hope I'm not out of line by saying this..."

I am thinking: Oh boy, Jay, just keep cool and listen. Just deal with it calmly.

And she says:

"I'm a school teacher and I just wanted to say: you guys are wonderful parents. The way you talk with him, and how well behaved he is... you just don't see that a lot anymore."

I almost fell out of the booth. I didn't know what to say.

I was like: "Wow, thanks so much." I asked her specifically what had impressed her, and she just said: "You have a really good way of talking to him, and you can see it in his behavior."

It flickered in my mind to tell her NJ's an aspie, but I thought: Why? Why not just accept the compliment and be grateful? Everything isn't about Asperger's all the time. Despite what you might see on this blog, I don't sit around thinking: hey, my aspie son just did that, hey my aspie son just did that.

I only write this way to relate to you more directly.

Meanwhile, when Mel came back to the table, I told her what had happened. And the lady made a point to tell Melissa herself as we got up to go.

She wasn't being weird or intrusive at all. She was very calm, and apparently impressed with our interaction with NJ. It was really something else.

It just proves how arming yourself with information about Asperger's... communicating closely with your kid... demanding politeness... making sure you're showing love... and a bit of luck (NJ's not always so polite in restaurants)... can go a looong way.

That said, it's definitely a journey. If you aren't having smooth mornings at the local diner with your kid, never fear. We used to endure those wacky outings with great regularity.

There was a time when I would be gulping down my grub, just hoping we didn't have a major incident. That was standard for lunch out with the boy.

Not any more, thank goodness.

But that could also just be a product of his maturation... and mine, too.